Hello 2012

A scene (with dialogue removed) from The Sand Pebbles


The new year has barely begun and already she has kissed one of my cheeks and slapped the other. With each new year I realize how precious time is and that I need to use it carefully. Adjustments need to be made.

When I was a little boy I saw the movie The Sand Pebbles. Although I did not understand it all, I liked it. I didn't know why, I just liked it, and never forgot it. But I never saw the movie again until just a couple of days ago. I was surprised by how many scenes and images I remembered, some of which seem to have been burned into my mind, especially the one shown in the clip here (with the dialogue removed from the soundtrack). As I watched the movie I realized that it expresses my philosophy of life in a nutshell. The film starts as a sailor named Jake Holman (played by Steve McQueen) arrives for his new assignment to manage the engine room of an American gunship (called the San Pablo) stationed in China in 1926. On a transport boat he encounters a young American woman (played by Candice Bergen). She is an idealistic girl who has signed on to teach, while it is clear that he is carrying around a load of bruises and scars. She asks why he wouldn't rather be in charge of the engine on a large ship. He says because there are too many people telling you what to do. On a small ship you are your own man, "they leave you alone." As soon as he gets to the San Pablo everyone is telling him what to do, he has no control over anything and the whole climate is a mess. It goes downhill from there.

The political situation is complex. Missionaries want to spread the good word, western governments want to take advantage of an unstable climate to exert their influence and extract resources, clans are at war and the communists are on the rise. The political situation, wherever you happen to be, is always complex. Which side are you on? Loyalties are often divided; it's often difficult to know what to do. Sometimes, doing anything at all seems futile. Life is one battle after another. Even the attempt to stay out of it all is a battle, the fight to be left alone. Becoming a sailor was a hard choice for Holman, the lesser of evils. He's not really cut out for it, but he finds that when you're good at something (as he is with engines), you can get by. But if you're not willing to accept all orders without question, you've got a problem. How I relate to this character! By myself I do pretty good. It's only when I roll out of bed that the trouble starts, and we all must roll out of bed. Open a window. Walk out a door. Encounter a bevy of strangers. Come back home with dignity intact.

There are good guys and bad guys in The Sand Pebbles, just as there are in real life. Last week I laughed out loud when I read in Slaughter-House Five that when Kurt Vonnegut went to school to study anthropology they were teaching that everybody was the same. There's no humor in The Sand Pebbles, but in its own way the film mocks that sick little half-truth that everyone is the same. No. There are untold differences between people and groups of people. Some folks are primarily scumbags, while others are empathetic or downright helpful and kind. Really. But all of the primary characters in The Sand Pebbles are schizoid. This is how I see the world. A scumbag will have a good day, pinch a baby's cheek. An angel will do something terrible, and later cry and make it right. These are the characters of The Sand Pebbles. Good people do bad things and vice versa. All are embroiled in a political battle of some sort. Motives are very difficult to detect. People act, we often don't know why. They act, and their actions force a response on our part. This is what I believe: some people believe in God, others don't. We don't know why, we're born this way. Some are conservative, others progressive. We are born this way. Some are primarily self-centered, and do evil unto others because of it - they're born that way. Others are angels, and seek to build up light, life and beauty by loving and building up others. They're born that way. As long as there have been humans, it's been this way, and as long as humans are here on this good earth, it will be this way.

In the end, the hero gets shot and dies. He calls out, "What the hell happened?" There's no answer. No reason.

2012 has begun the way all of the years do, I suppose. She has offered a step up and the next day kicked me in the crutch. But with each new year I realize more that time is very important. I have less of it than ever before. I will continue The Bricoleur, but, who knows, maybe the posts will thin out, or perhaps I'll go for more conversational ones like this one. Happy New Year, all of you people in blogland. I hope you pick your battles carefully, and I hope you dodge the bullets.